'That's tacky': Parents request guests at their 8-year-old daughter's birthday party give cash instead of presents

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Everyone has strong opinions on what makes a suitable gift for a kid. Heck, everyone has an opinion on how birthday parties should handle gift giving. My mom and I agree that it is fun and cool for kids to open all their presents at their birthday party. That allows them to thank the gift-giver in person, and also lets the gift-giver feel pride in the present they picked out. Maybe that's seeing things through rose colored glasses: Sometimes the birthday boy doesn't show his appreciation very well, and oftentimes the gifts are picked out by parents instead of the kids. As someone who hasn't been to a child's birthday party in well over a decade, I fear this kind of gift-giving might be a thing of the past. 

Kids today don't want actual toys as much as they used to. Their playing life is primarily online, which might be cheaper for their parents, but it makes gift-giving much more difficult. You can get them an iPhone that will serve them all the brain-rot entertainment they could possibly want for free, but what next? What is Great Aunt Susan supposed to get them? A Build-A-Bear? Gimme a break!

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  • The family in this story found an answer to the question of, “What should we give your son for his birthday?” They requested that his classmates give him money instead of presents, and it's putting a bad taste in the mouth of the mother of one of his classmates. 

  • A little girl sitting on a couch holding money
    via Bermix Studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My almost 8 year old son just got invited to birthday party. They want cash.

    Like the title says my son got an invite to a birthday party for a kid in his second grade class. He just started second grade last Thursday. Idk if my son knows this kid but it's a new family to my wife and I. I don't really enjoy
    via u/Kooky_Monitor_5063
  • these events much but tend to take him to anything he's invited to in hopes of raising a more social person than myself. The invite that we received says the time and date of course then shows Gift: Cash
    via u/Kooky_Monitor_5063
  • AITAH for having that rub me the wrong way? I find it very off putting, idk if I'm just subconsciously looking for an excuse not to go. Do you think it's tacky/weird to request cash for your kids birthday gift?
    via u/Kooky_Monitor_5063
  • 15thcenturybeet NTA. That's tacky af. And what second grader prefers boring cash to a cool toy, book, craft kit, or other fun gift?
    via u/15thcenturybeet
  • HEY_UHHH 2nd graders today are more into roblox and fortnite lol. The parents probably figured "cash" is easier than saying "vbucks" or whatever in game currency the kid actually wants.
    via u/HEY_UHHH
  • JoffreeBaratheon I guarantee you nearly every 2nd grader is going to want cash over anything some random adult picks out.
    via u/JoffreeBaratheon
  • 15thcenturybeet really? wow, I guess I must be very out of touch with what kids are into these days! When I was in second grade a realistic fake farm set and a toy harmonica rocked my little world. I don't even know who or what Roblox is Times have changed! (And I guess my out of touchness really proves the point that a kid wouldn't want what I picked out lol)
    via u/15thcenturybeet
  • Reimiro I have a first and fourth grader and neither have much concept of cash. They want robux. They immediately ask to trade tooth fairy spoils for robux.
    via u/Reimiro
  • A laptop with Roblox pulled up
    via Oberon Copeland @veryinformed.com

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Kooky_Monitor_5063 OP Exactly. Plus idk, I wouldn't want to raise my kid to ask for cash at birthdays. If someone wants to give cash fine, cool. But I want him to grow up thinking money only comes in through work/effort if some kind.
    via u/Kooky_Monitor_5063
  • Helpful_Ad_6582 But that's not true. People give cash for gifts all the time. It's not any more noble to accept a gift of some dumb race car track than it is to accept cash. He did nothing to earn that gift other than stay alive for another year. Cash actually gives them a better opportunity to understand the value of a dollar. The gifts come without prices
    via u/Helpful_Ad_6582
  • and at 8yo, a lot of toys will end up discarded after a couple months and bound for a donation bin or landfill in a year or so, and no one will think about how much it cost. Getting cash lets you teach about how to save and spend for the thing you want really. The value of the money is better appreciated when it's leaving your hand.
    via u/Helpful_Ad_6582
  • MrsPandaBear I do believe is kind of tacky in American society, but if they're from a different culture, sometimes cash is the standard gift. But don't let that deter you from taking your kid to the birthday. Just give whatever you would've spent on a birthday present. We usually limit it to $15, so you could stick three five dollar bills into a card and wish him a happy birthday.
    via u/MrsPandaBear
  • Otherwise-Shallot-51 I mean, you're free to feel what you want. Not going to judge you for feeling like this was ride. However, this might be a cultural thing? Personally, I'd much rather parents ask for money for their kid's bday present from people who may not know them super well because the kid can use that money to buy something they really want instead of getting a "stupid" gift they'll just give to someone else.
    via u/Otherwise-Shallot-51
  • Little girl holding three birthday presents at an outdoor birthday party
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SuperMarioCorleone NTA. Rubs me the wrong way too. I've never even seen specific gift requests for a children's birthday party, let alone a Cash request. Sounds like the gift is more for the parents than the child! I don't know any 8 year olds that ask for cash for their birthday.
    via u/SuperMarioCorleone
  • IndependentMethod312 I don't think it's r de. Maybe he wants a large gift that he's saving for. Maybe they don't want a bunch of random stuff that they know their kid won't use and/or having to return/exchange items. We always gave gift cards unless it was a best/close friend that our kids knew well enough to pick something that they would actually love/use.
    via u/IndependentMethod312
  • Now that my kids are 10 and 12 we give cash. My oldest kid's teammate requested cash and used it towards a PS5 that he was saving for. I would prefer to give money towards that than a pile of stuff that doesn't get used. But there's no real right or wrong way to look at it.
    via u/IndependentMethod312
  • Raspbers Seems tacky, but I know for my niece, she was ALWAYS interested in cash, so she could buy what she wants. It started young. No, this little 12 year old has more money in her bank account 98% of the time than I do, unless I just got paid and the bills haven't come out yet.
    via u/Raspbers
  • Saltywitha Twist Yes, it is tacky as written. There are such things as "Fiver parties," meaning the gift should be a $5, to keep costs down, and that seems okay, and is usually to save for something bigger. I have been putting "no gift/$5 limit" on my kids last couple parties. They just don't need the stuff and parents don't need to be spending on gifts.
    via u/SaltywithaTwist
  • Secure_Engineer7151 NTA Child might be fine but the parents are tacky. Bring Monopoly as a gift. It teaches you money management.
    via u/Secure_Engineer7151
  • StopthemadnessOMG NTA, its a bday party for a child, not a freaking fund raiser. Do something fun with your kid that day or show up with a normal gift!
    via u/StopthemadnessOMG

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school birthdays elementary school kids birthday birthday party bad parenting classmates parenting little kids daughter Parenting Fail son children Parenting FAILS
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